I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
