you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
