Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
