we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
