Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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