I don't think brook has ever known best
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
