Do vagina's smell?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
