She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
