I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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