K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
