Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
