32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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