so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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