So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Randomize
