my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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