he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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