There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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