I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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