Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
