If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Randomize
