I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
