i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
