Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
