Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
