Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
