I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
