saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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