My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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