if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
