If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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