this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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