The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
