It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
