guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
