he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i drank out of a bidet.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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