You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
