Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
