The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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