Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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