just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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