Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
