I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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