I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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