It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
