What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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