Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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