If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
