yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
