I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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