mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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