I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
