I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the condom got lost in my hair
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
