she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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