Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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