I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
